Some of the goals of therapy

To find ways to love and accept love

How to stop getting stuck in feeling bad about yourself

To create a fuller and happier life

To find ways out of helplessness and the feelings of being overwhelmed

To find a way out of the unnecessary pains, sadness, and losses in our lives

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


      Elsewhere in this Blog I talked about how each of us has a bunch of stories in the back of our mind (that is, the stories are not present in day to day consciousness).  These stories shape how we interpret and behave in our present relationships.   One goal of therapy is to help the person see and experience the living out of these stories and their effects.   If we look closely at one of the stories, the first thing to notice is that they usually involve the person and one or two other individuals.  Second, a story involves a background theory about how things "work" between persons.  Infant Research has shown that the mind is equistely designed to detect connections, to connect the dots.  This connecting, this linking is how the person creates a story.   So, one obvious implication is that the first stories involve the self (I and me) and the moms and dads.  In fact, each of us has "learned" the most from how these persons behave with us, with our siblings, with our neighbors, and with each other.
     So, a problem brought up in therapy may include how the person feels about his/her body.   There are many issues/causes surrounding these feelings.  One important story involves how the infant/child experiences the behavior and mental state of the parent's early handling.  Does the parent like changing the baby or are they disgusted with cleaning up the poop; does the parent like giving them a bath and playing with them or is the parent predominantly elsewhere and in a "hurry".   What are the reactions of the parents as the child "discovers" their genitals.     Out of these many experiences the child creates, often an unarticulated set of stories about his/her body which carry into adulthood.

For a somewhat complex discussion try: