Some of the goals of therapy
To find ways to love and accept love
How to stop getting stuck in feeling bad about yourself
To create a fuller and happier life
To find ways out of helplessness and the feelings of being overwhelmed
To find a way out of the unnecessary pains, sadness, and losses in our lives
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
We often read in newspapers or online that "money" is one of the main conflicted areas for couples. Each of us in this country has to create an economic life, that is a given. When we come together, how this requirement is blended and most importantly talked through and negotiated, is often at the center of the conflicts over money. Most couples have to "live within their means". They have some measurable income which must cover their expenditures and allocations. This means they have constraints on their spending. How are these decisions made. Are the limits to spending decided openly and jointly or are the concerns for the economic well being shouldered by one and not the other. When the decisions are not made jointly about both income and outflows, the couple is almost always headed towards resentment and accusation. These feelings spill over into the daily life of the couple and especially their sexual life. Most often the partners have recreated the economic model of each persons parents, this happens so often unconsciously.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Moments of grace are emergent, they occur often as an unfolding consequence of acts of giving. To understand the other's need or yearning in the moment and to respond in ways which match the need and yearning, is to create the possibility for a moment of grace. Wherein you feel that you don't need a reciprocation but rather the other's quietude eases your concerns, your drivenness. In a small way the world can be good, and you are part of this goodness.