Some of the goals of therapy

To find ways to love and accept love

How to stop getting stuck in feeling bad about yourself

To create a fuller and happier life

To find ways out of helplessness and the feelings of being overwhelmed

To find a way out of the unnecessary pains, sadness, and losses in our lives

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


       People often refer to a pattern of behavior as a "habit",  perhaps a good habit or more commonly a bad habit.  If the person is pointing at a bad habit,  he/she will often follow up this observation with something like "I got to break this bad habit" or "I just have to stop this bad habit".   This person has categorized this pattern of behavior as something like a reflex, something that is automatic.  Often the pattern of behavior, the habit,  is automatic.  Yet, to think of it as a kind of reflex, like a knee jerk, is a mistake.  The mistake is that the person is trying to take away the meanings of the pattern of behavior and hence, the motivations propelling the habit.   Certainly, there is value in stopping the "bad" habit, but what is also needed is an understanding of what propels this now almost automatic behavior.    The set of motivations involved in the habit are connected to his/her experience and needs.   This person must find a way to treat him/her self in a kinder and more thoughtful manner, rather than as a "behaving" machine.