When we are discussing something with an other, we often are talking in a kind of abstract language. We are expressing a judgment, a theory, a perspective about some event or interaction. One of the simplest methods to deepen such a discussion is to ask the speaker "what was in your mind when you said that" - pointing to some idea being expressed. Most of our "ideas" are rooted in our experiences. So, the recommended question asks the speaker to reach back beyond the idea into the experiences which are connected to idea. An empathic connection is most often grounded in the resonances of each other's experiences and the relationship becomes enriched through the sharing of experiences.
