Most of us have been fortunate enough to experience the excitement of a gift, for example at a birthday or a holiday. Part of the excitement is the feeling of surprise, another part of the excitement is that the gift represents an affirmation that we are special in the heart of the giver. Usually, these experiences occur most frequently during childhood. When ever we have such an experience, it takes up a special place in our mind - like a glowing warm presence.
What happens in adulthood? Couples, especially couples with children, are often under multiple stresses - for example, money, logistics, lifting our children forwards, setting limits and boundaries, keeping up a sexual life, keeping up friendships, etc. With all these things on our plates we can lose contact with the need for surprise and excitement. Yet, our unconscious mind calculates, weighs what we give and get. These calculations our thrown up into consciousness often when we are feeling too extended or feeling depleted. These conscious thoughts can be souring, disconnecting and burdensome. Creating an experience of surprise and excitement is an antidote to this souring. In order to create the experience, you have to really imagine his/her desires and care about them. When you succeed in doing so, the grayness of life you are experiencing at that time lifts and the night sparkles.
